Edinburgh! I’m coming to get you! My first gig since hanging up my clown shoes is at the Caves this Tuesday. But it’s not about me. It’s about the Horndog Brass Band, or rather more specifically my rhythm section buddy since forever, partner in crime, chief of chiefs and sousaphone monster-beast, Tom ‘Tombo’ Donaldson. He’s moving back to ‘Straya, whisking Nelly back to his homeland to live the good life together down under. We and we will miss them dearly.

This Tuesday will be a fitting send off to THE filthiest, diseased riddled, legendary grime merchants I’ve ever had the good fortune to share a stage with. We’re going to play every single tune we ever learned. We’re going to finally launch our album. We’re gonna tear the roof off, smash it, then begin a horrendously lengthy application for planning permission to distastefully rebuild it with a blatant disregard for the surrounding area and aesthetic, build it backwards, forwards, upside down, inside out AND THEN we’re going to completely destroy it beyond all recognition with the rusty, blunt end of the LAST HORNDOG GIG EVER! (maybe)